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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Life is Life

Life isn't all jewelry. Wish that it were, but it isn't, no matter how much I want it to be. My family has been afflicted with two tragedies. One much more serious than other.

I debated on whether or not to write this and decided it would make me feel better to do it, so here it is. My 30 year old nephew was just diagnosed with T cell lymphoblastic leukemia.

Let me tell you about my nephew, my one and only nephew. I'll call him Jim. Jim is a mountain of a man. Jim lives life large and in charge. Jim is a Southern boy by both birth and choice. He is the world's friendliest biker, gregarious to a fault. He's the guy who would give you the shirt off his back. He's a computer geek, a Industrial music DJ, a lover of all music, a jack of all trades. Jim is a father of two small children and a devoted, providing husband. Last but not least, he's a guy who was born to kick cancer's ass. If anyone can do this, he can.

But, it is up to the people who love him, to worry over him, nonetheless. I have absolute faith that he will get through the long ordeal in front of him, but it doesn't make it any easier for those just wishing that it hadn't happened. Needless to say, I'm sick with worry and in dread of the possibilities, which care not for what I wish. As bad as I feel, I can't even imagine what it must be like for his mother right now.

I can't say more about Jim without crying, so let me tell you about my oldest grandson. As some of you might remember, my grandkids were raised in a very small town. Moving here was a culture shock, but they have adjusted pretty well. My grandson, whom I'll call Shawn, is brilliant, but he doesn't have a lot of common sense. He doesn't know how the world is shaping up around us. As a 12 year old who has been called ADD, he doesn't think much about the future or consequences.

Shawn found a penknife in the mud one day. It was rusted and corroded shut. Like any boy, he stuck it in his pocket. Like Shawn, however, he decided, after he realized that he still had it, that it would be a good idea to try to wash it off and open it during his free class. Of course, someone told a teacher. As we are all adults here, I imagine you just did what I did, release a slow, "Oh, no." We know how serious this is especially after Sandy Hook.

Jim has been expelled and forever banned from his school. Which means the only school which will now take him, despite his brilliance and his being a good kid in other respects, is the "delinquent" school. He never opened the knife, he never threatened anyone, the police were not involved and the blade was too small to even be considered a legal weapon. Zero tolerance. His future has been severely and negatively affected. It hasn't sunk in to him, yet. This just happened the other day. It is only the beginning of this ordeal.

Just so you know that not everything is bad news, my grandaughter is doing incredibly awesome. :) She goes out for all the teams at school and competes with other schools in the district. The latest was her forensics team, which is actually acting. I was welling up in tears watching this, formerly shy, young girl act in front of all those people. And, she was really great, too! My youngest grandson, who is in the gifted program, just won a medal at school for a science tournament. As he likes to point out, he didn't even study. :)

So... life is life. You have your ups and have your downs.

I hope I didn't bum anyone out, but as I've said before- This is my journal and my own little piece of the web. I needed to vent. These things actually have everything to do with jewelry, too, since it has been so distracting for me and limiting my ability to work.

Thanks, as always, for reading. :)


17 comments:

  1. Tela, I don't know what to say, there are no words. But I know how much you love your family, and can imagine how sad this must be for you (all). My thoughts are with you, and those loved by you, who must go through such painful times.
    (((hugs)))

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    1. Thank you, Renate. Cyber hugs are awesome. :) ((((HUGS))))

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  2. Tela, I don't know why these terrible things have to happen so close together, but it certainly makes it more difficult to deal with when it happens that way. I will add you all to my prayers, and pray that things will settle down to a manageable level soon. I feel so badly for your grandson, who brought so much trouble into his life with something so innocent. Hang in there.

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    1. Thank you, Susan :) You know what they say about things coming in threes? I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Terrible, anxious feeling. :( But, we are hanging in there and working on getting the right lawyer for my grandson. We are not giving in without a fight!

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  3. Oh, Tela, I'm so sorry. Hugs to Jim--he sounds like an awesome, positive person and with all your love and care I bet he'll beat this. I'm actually more worried about Shawn. I hate zero-tolerance policies with a passion. They're stupid policies adopted out of fear, and not fear of reasonable threats, but cover-your-a&$ kinds of fear.

    This is like the girl who recently got arrested and charged with a *felony* (!) for pushing forward on a science experiment -- being curious, wanting to learn -- that resulted in a small explosion that did no damage and harmed no one. I'm telling you, if I were in school today I'd be in jail by now. At least I hope I would be. Is there a petition to reinstate him that we can sign?

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    1. Thanks- I see you are totally on the same page with this. I get that there have to be swift consequences for violence or the threat of violence, but he wasn't a threat or violent.

      There is no petition, at least, not yet, but we are in search of the right lawyer and I think I found an organization to help. Waiting on word now. I'll update with his story as we progress.

      Sorry about your trouble. A felony??? That's a crap thing to have on your record. Any chance to have it reduced?

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    2. Oh--that wasn't me. I'm too old to commit a felony. :-) The girl in high school in Florida who messed up her chemistry experiment got charged with a felony. Same sort of over-reaction as with Shawn. Charges against her have been dropped, though.

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  4. Tela, I'm sorry to hear about all this. In time, hopefully, things will settle down and will be worked out. I'm sending good thoughts your way.

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    1. Thank you, Kate :) I know things will improve- one day at a time. :)

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  5. Tela, So sorry you are faced with so much right now. Pleases know you and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
    Big hugs

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    1. Hi Christine :) Big hugs, girl! ((((HUGS)))) You, of all people know how special my grandson is to me. The biggest fear we have is how this will affect his future, but we have hope and we will fight.

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  6. I wondered why we had not heard from you in awhile. I was hoping you were too busy cabbing and wrapping to blog. You and your family will be in my prayers also. I hope there is some sort of appeal process for your grandson. Zero tololerence rules are so unfair. He should not be punished for being a normal boy. I know of two girls who were kicked out of school because one shared her Midol with her friend who was suffering severe cramps at school. It's out of control. I hope in spite of it all you had a nice Mothers Day. Hugs, Gina

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    1. Hi Gina :) ((((HUGS)))) to you, too. There is a process to go through with Shawn. We are in a search for a good lawyer and I'm waiting to hear back from an organization now, which seems promising. The thing is- the penknife is not considered a weapon by the state or the schoolboard!! We feel like he is being railroaded into the "alternative" school. OOps- my blood pressure is rising and it's way too early in the morning for that! :) I get mad every time I start thinking about the meeting we had with the principal and vice principal. Long story. I'll post updates as things progress.

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  7. Tela, GOD bless you and your Loved ones...... My heart goes out to you... and I am Praying for you and your family...
    As for Jim, a strong willed person heals faster, so thumbs up to him for being strong willed.
    And as for Shawn, my heart goes out to him....
    I know everyone is scared of what the world is doing and has become, but some things are over rated.... not the killings, bombings, rapes, kidnappings...ect... I know all these are very serious, but.... they went over board with this baby....
    if they were so concerned, why didn't they heavily investigate, and with him never being in trouble, they should have let him stay in school... Even if they kept a close watch on him, at least he would not have this seriousness on him.... they are just plain silly.
    Same things here in our town, except for our was a lil 5 years old kissed a 6 year old, and Lord have mercy... the school system threw a fit, my neice, and the parents of the boy said it was ok, and what did they do.... call in the welfare to check them out... it was hard, and still it, because of how other people look at you... my goodness, they were just 5 and 6....
    peoples minds overwork all the time....
    hugs to you my friend....

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    1. Thank you so much! The outpouring of support has meant so much :) (((HUGS))) I know exactly what you mean about these things getting out of control. I have read so many stories about the school system going overboard. I just never thought I would be facing this. It has been a nightmare and everything is rigged against us and for them. What a long story! It ain't over, yet. Still talking to lawyers.....

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  8. Oh Tela, I am so sorry to hear what a terrible and tough time you are going through. Life can be so cruel sometimes and hard to understand. I am sending you and your family a big hug and hope that things take a turn for the better as soon as possible.
    Kristin :)

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    1. Hi Kristin! :) I hope you are well. Thank you very much for your well wishes. It's been a long road and a longer one still in front of our family, but we will make it. Jim is doing very well with his chemo, so far, and we are still fighting the system for Shawn. (((HUGS)))

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